Sunday, August 9, 2015

Day #9 - Facebook and My Love/Hate Relationship

Disclaimer:  I never watched the movie, The Social Network.

When I first joined Facebook, it was indeed a "social" network.  Somewhere along the line, it changed to a marketing ploy.  Celebrities and businesses got involved.  It became less about being social, and more about promotion.

From my own personal standpoint, I appreciate the opportunity to interact with friends and family on a daily basis.  I enjoy exchanging stories and photos, sharing in the joys and accomplishments of others, and providing support to them during the rough times.

If I were going to offer suggestions to Facebook on how to make their service better for me, it would be the following:

1.  Offer personal accounts  and business pages with no cross over.  I want to interact on a personal level with my "friends".  I don't want to hear your pitch about the latest multi-level-marketing campaign.  I don't want to be bombarded with notices about a half-day class you are teaching in Vermont.  I don't live anywhere near there.

2.  Give us an opportunity NOT to have to read about EVERYTHING each of our friends "likes" or "comments" on.  Right now, the only option we have is to "not follow" friends.  But you see, I want to read things they are posting.  I just don't need to know that they liked a comment made by their 3rd cousin once removed.

3.  With all the news about identity theft, I don't understand why personal accounts have the option to be open to the public?  From a business standpoint, I get it.  Businesses need to be available to the public.  However, I refer you to Suggestion #1.  And yes, I understand that the option is there now, but it would be nice if it was a requirement rather than an option.  I even sort of understand the need of some people to "collect" friends.  There is (IMHO) a false feeling that the more "friends" you have, the more people actually "like" you.  But I tell you, it is hard to really like someone if you don't really know them.  Relationships take work.  Are these relationships you want to nurture?

Do people really need thousands of Facebook "friends"?  I know those who have a kajillion friends can't be actually reading everything each one of those "friends" posts, shares, or likes.  So I begin to wonder, how much of all this "social networking" is about building relationships/networks, and how much is about self gratification and attention?  Are we as a society encouraging a generation of narcissists?  I don't get it.  Maybe I'm just old.

Have you heard the new acronym FOMO - It stands for "fear of missing out".  Have you been to a social gathering where people are checking their phones more than they are talking to you?  It is uncomfortable and offensive.....but then again, maybe I am just old.  I haven't worried about missing out for a long time now.  Usually I am just relieved.  I guess I am old.


  1. Betsy,
    Excellent blog. What I want to know about Facebook: why, oh, why do I have to read the comments of all my friends' friends. And are my friends' friends getting my comments and posts? Scary. How do we opt out of all that. I've looked but can't find a way to do it.

  2. There used to be a setting that you could have your friends check that didn't share their comments and likes with you (unless it was with a mutual friend) but that option went away when Facebook updated one time. The problem lies in the settings of the friends of friends. When their settings are set to show their posts to the public, you are hooked in, whether you want to or not. If your friend has their settings set to "friends only" and a non-mutual friend of theirs has the settings set the same, then you won't see anything. It's when one person has their information/posts set to public that throws a wrench in the whole process. (Lord, I hope that makes sense.....)

    1. Yeah, that makes sense, but I don't like it one bit. I keep clicking the option on each post from a friend of a friend to "hide all posts from whomever." Still getting way more posts than I want to see.

  3. Betsy-Mom, YOU are definitely not old, you look gorgeously awesome :-) I so hear you! I hate Facebook, deleted my account and everything but there is one pic from me and my brother which can still be found on the net even though I definitely deleted it. So I guess the net never forgets anything LOL Just learned the other day that WhatsApp also belongs to the guy who owns Facebook, yuk! At least on WhatsApp there is no bullshit like he liked that and commented on this ;-) But who knows, might be that I have a rather old smartphone, maybe the new ones show this already, too LOL
    Lotsa Love & Huggies, Sabine (formerly FairyLady)

  4. Sabine - How wonderful to hear from you! Hope all is well with you. I definitely enjoy retirement and grandkids. Every now and then, you just gotta vent about something. Apparently Facebook was my choice that day - LOL!