Yesterday seemed like the perfect day for a pity party or at least a mini breakdown - or rather battling the urge to cross over into the panic zone. My husband and I are currently travelling around the USA in a 5th wheel travel trailer. We've had some electrical problems in the rig which have 'forced' us to stay with Kim's relatives. Staying here is not a challenge or a problem at all, at least for us. We all get along and there is plenty of room. However, it is frustrating that we can't be in our own place, but it is just not safe. In my frustration yesterday, I drank more coffee than I usually would, especially late in the day. I ate foods that don't sit well with me. The result was that I was awake most of the night, fighting the urge to jump into fear. We all have those times. The ones where every conceivable thing that could go wrong enters your thought process. I worried about everyone I love and cherish dying. I worried about our trailer catching fire, or exploding. I worried about traffic accidents. I worried about my aging uncle. I worried about my mother-in-law's upcoming surgery. I worried about having diarrhea, and not making it to the bathroom on time. I worried about rattlesnakes, scorpions and tarantulas getting into the bed with me. You name it, I managed to worry about it.
At some point, I had the thought or heard a voice saying "What the hell are you thinking about? Just stop it!" I knew I had to change my thinking immediately. For me, affirmations are the easiest way to do that. So I started with the simple ones that give me comfort. I am prosperous. Everything is in divine and perfect order. Out of this situation, only good can come. Then I moved on to the Prayer of Protection, the Lords Prayer, and the last thing I remember is ho'oponono - I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
I woke up about 4am, with diarrhea, but I did make it to the bathroom on time. (TMI? Sorry.) I've switched from worrying about my loved ones, and concentrated on blessing them and surrounding them with love and light. As far as the trailer - well, out of this situation only good shall come. And so it is.