Sunday, August 30, 2009

Love and Marriage - 31 Years of Togetherness

(Originally posted May 20, 2009)

Today my husband and I are celebrating our 31st anniversary. Wow – 31 years…that’s a long time. Along the way, there has been laughter, tears, arguments, make up moments, stress, joy, kids, dogs, cats, moves, changes and challenges. And we survived it all. Occasionally, I’ve been asked – how do you think you managed to do it? Are there secrets to a long and happy marriage? Well, I don’t think there are secrets, per se, but there are actions and beliefs that contribute to the success of a marriage. Here are a few that apply to us:


We both came with a strong sense of family. Both sets of parents had long term marriages. Through thick and thin, good times and challenges, there has always been a commitment to stay together.

We share basic religious (spiritual) philosophies – that there is a power greater than ourselves.

We have shared interests, and individual interests.

We have mutual friends, and we have individual friends.

We enjoy a night out with our individual friends from time to time.

We talk about our goals and our dreams. We work together on the ones we share. We work individually on the others.

When we disagree, we discuss. Sometimes we discuss via email, so that the discussion does not turn into a fight or an argument.

We choose our battles, and then we negotiate. Rating our feelings on a scale of 1 to 10 helps us to determine how strongly we feel about any given thing.

We start each day and end each day with a kiss.

No matter what, I will be there for him, and he will be there for me.

From a book called Lists To Live By (Second Edition) come the following:

12 Actions For A Happy Marriage

Ask

Listen

Accept

Respect

Risk

Encourage

Adjust

Forgive

Give

Love

Laugh

Comfort

My wish for you all is to have as much love in your relationship as I have in mine!

~Betsy~

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